I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I understand Curling. That high.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
