I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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