why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize