4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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