so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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