I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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