Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
