I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
