i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize