Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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