you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
