Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
