yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
