A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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