Ambien. No doubt about it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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