were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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