In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
