oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
