so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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