just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
