So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
