oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
