Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i think my cat just said my name.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
