It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
