Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
