I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
