I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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