You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
