your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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