I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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