My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
