is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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