Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
