I wanna bring you to show and tell
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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