Me. At least after what I've been through.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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