Your tits are I can't wait for
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
