The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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