How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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