I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
