Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize