I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
