Where is the hickey?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
