I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
