And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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