I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
