Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
