Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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