Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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