I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
