Already got asked if we're dating
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
