and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
