Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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