They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
