the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
