GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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