Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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