So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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