i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
