we have pet lesbian snakes
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
