it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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