I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
