I cockslap morals
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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