I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who died my cat blue again?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize