She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
