i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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