they need to just BURY HIM!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
