I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
