There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
