bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
