I could make wine with my vomit
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
