You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
