Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
