Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize